Capricorn (the goat)
November 22-- December 21
1) People find you interesting and surprising.2) You are a modest person.
3) You have a face that people always remember, even though they try hard to forget.
4) The only time you lie is when your lips are moving.
5) You may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. You really are an idiot.
6) You always try to use the most words to express the smallest idea.
7) You think that the quickest way to your lover's heart is through the chest cavity.
8) People find you as interesting as watching a dog walking on two legs. It's not done well but they are surprised to see it done at all.
9) You're so boring that people fall asleep halfway through your name.
10) If all your brain cells were laid end to end on the surface of the earth, you'd need an electron microscope to measure it.
11) Indeed you are modest because you have lots to be modest about.
12) You can't use a rectal thermometer because of the risk of brain damage.
13) On your mark, get set, go away!
Best career moves: thief, goat milker, gas station bathroom attendant