Leo (the lion)
July 23-- August 22
1) You were born a leader.2) You are as strong as a lion.
3) Others think that you are sophisticated (little do they know).
4) People find you fascinating because you're so ugly; they stare at you in fascination.
5) You have a brilliant head, but only after shaving and polishing it.
6) When people feel miserable, it's just like having you around.
7) It's said that little things affect little minds. You have nothing to worry about because you have no mind.
8) You're strong alright. The stench of your body odor is so strong, it makes skunk dung smell like roses.
9) Your flatulence is so great that gas companies make bids for your mineral rights.
10) When people ask what's on your mind, they think of it as an overstatement.
11) What has a tiny brain, a big mouth, and an opinion nobody cares about? You!
12) The only reason you're alive is because it is illegal to shoot people.
13) Maybe you were born a leader, but you'll die a caboose.
Best career moves: sewage transporter, garbage collector, deodorant tester