Libra (the balance)

September 23-- October 22

1) You have much knowledge.

2) Libra's make great lawyers.

3) You can tell who's a Libra on a Walt Disney ride because they're the ones carrying their luggage.

4) You have delusions of adequacy.

5) Your parents don't realize that they're living proof that two wrongs don't make a right.

6) Whenever you try to save face, you still have the other face to worry about.

7) You're so narrow minded that when you run, your ear lobes bang together.

8) You have much knowledge alright. Unfortunately it's only knowledge about yourself.

9) You know how to steal, lie and cheat. That's why you'd make a great lawyer.

10) You don't look good now, but you'll make a magnificent looking corpse.

11) Your face looks like an envelope without an address on it.

12) People regard you with an indifference bordering on aversion.

13) People who want to save the whales, think of you.

Best career moves: bailiff in a kangaroo court, ambulance chaser, professional masturbator