Pisces (the fish)

February 19-- March 20

1) You are a humble person.

2) You are a very strong.

3) You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI.

4) Your ignorance is encyclopedic.

5) Pisces people smell like dead fish.

6) Pisces politicians are so dumb that they have been known to fly to Manila just to thank them for their envelopes.

7) People consider you a parasite for sore eyes.

8) Your brain is so small that it's amazing that you're able to place one foot in front of the other.

9) You are a humble person, because you really aren't great.

10) When the horoscope said that you are very strong, it meant your unbearably strong body odor.

11) You will die of constipation because you are so full of shit.

12) When people look into your eyes, they get the feeling someone else is driving.

13) You're hokey pokey and that what it's all about.

Best career moves: aquarium cleaner, barnacle scraper, shark bait