Scorpio (the scorpion)

October 23-- November 21

1) You have a good business mind.

2) You are a kind person.

3) Save your breath because you'll need it to blow up your next date.

4) You're such a good friend, that you only stab them from the front.

5) When people give you a going away present, you have to promise to leave.

6) You're like a corkscrew. Twisted, cold, and sharp.

7) When you're in bad company, you're alone.

8) When all the planets align, you will have sex. (Note, all the planets have never aligned.)

9) Your good business mind will make you a great crack dealer.

10) Yes you are a kind person, the kind who picks his friends-- to pieces.

11) The time when you stopped to think about something, you never started again.

12) Most Scorpio's are murderers.

13) You're proof that God doesn't exist, otherwise he would have killed you by now.

Best career moves: drug dealer, hit man, panty hose inspector