Word Translator

by Jim Walker
Originated: 26 July 2006

Like millions of Americans, I listen with astonished embarrassment whenever "President" George W. Bush opens his mouth to speak (sometimes while stuffing his mouth with food). For whatever reason, Bush's speaking skills resembles that of an uneducated backwoods pig farmer who doesn't understand the difference between agriculture and animal breeding. Some have speculated that he's either drinking, smoking pot, medicated, or some combination of them all. Or perhaps he's simply an idiot (my hypothesis). You'd think the poor guy would feel embarrassed by any number of his faux pas, but no. Instead, he relishes his gaffes as if they were jewel drops of wisdom. Doesn't he realize that people around the world laugh at him? Apparently not, or he simply doesn't have the number of brain cells needed to understand humility.

Yet sometimes, when reading scripted material, he seems almost normal, but when he has to go it alone, his speech pattern falls apart to its primeval origins. George Bush the First, also had speech problems, so maybe he inherited his idiocy from his dad. Who knows?

Regardless of what causes his embarrassing speaking disabilities, wouldn't it prove useful to understand just what the President of the United States means by his words? You'd think that world leaders would correct him or ask him to clarify his thinking. George Bush reminds me of the Peter Sellers character, Chauncey Gardiner, in the movie, Being There where a simple illiterate gardener of a large estate was mistaken for the owner and everyone takes his empty utterances as profound and insightful statements.

Many have commented on George Bush's word phrases and sentences (Bushisms) so I won't go there. I have concentrated mostly on Bush's offending single words and have attempted to translate them into English. By no means have I tried to document all of Bozo's mispronounced words and, in fact, this is a rather short list because I simply cannot stand to listen throughout an entire Bush speech without going insane myself. Perhaps some of you readers who have stronger stomachs than mine could add to the list.

I did my best to phonetically spell the offending Bush word (shown in the list on the left) and translated it to English (shown in the list on the right).

Bush word
(pronounced phonetically)

What Bush means
(I think)

abonition abomination
Ah (as in, “Ah think”) I
ashspect aspect
beeg being
billing building
chillrens children
citiz citizens
dare there
dat that
dudnit doesn’t it
epo-lectic eclectic
fella fellow
ferget forget
gooder better
gubner governor
I-I-I  (stutter) I
idnit isn’t it
internets internet
Irun Iran
it-it-it (stutter) it
kine kind
learnt learned
Mericans Americans
new-cue-ler nuclear
nignity dignity
obb-bee-ah-see obviously
pacticle practical
permnit permanent
purty pretty
reconize recognize
recrudiments recruitments
sassnations assassinations
scuse excuse
sectary secretary
searus serious
sitten sitting
sompin something
suiciders suicide-bombers
suscede succeed
tear terror
tearists terrorists
thumpin thumping
tore tour
tuh the (or to)
uh a
unceptable unacceptable
um ?
waried worried
we-we-we (stutter) we
wunnering wondering
wuddnit wasn’t it