Do you believe in horoscope predictions? Well then you've arrived at the right place. This horoscope will predict the real you. No holes barred, honest to goodness real predictions based on the latest data from the alignment of the planets.

Just click on your sign and you will get what you deserve.

NOTE: If you feel sensitive to criticism, insults, obscenity, or political incorrectness, or have no sense of humor, then the Horrorscope exists especially for you. Come on in!

Although this web page intends itself as satire for nonbelievers, If you really do believe in horoscopes, then you must take this horoscope just as seriously as all the others, especially considering that none of them has ever predicted personality traits accurately any better than chance or through the generality of its "predictions" (which applies to virtually anyone) fueled by the gullibility of its naive believers. If you doubt the "accuracy" of this horoscope over others, then I lay the gauntlet down and submit that this horoscope predicts personality traits just as accurately (if not more so) than any of the others, and If you don't think so, then I demand a 600 page (minimum) report of a study which proves this horoscope false.

A little secret <heh, heh> click here